tsunamiwavesurfing:

universoullove:

If ur tongue can go faster than my vibrator u win.

but can your vibrator spit on you tho?

can your vibrator zangief pile drive you and put you in a headlock tho?

can your vibrator finish in 3 minutes and tell you to go cook some and slap your ass when you gettin off the bed and ask if you paid his phone bill tho?

(via in-vagina-we-thrust)

(via i-am-unknownnn)

mozzarella firefox

my mom (via dutchster)

(via thewingho)

Artist: Needs Headphones 9,020,891 plays

1dstalking:

impalaincamelot:

spazzysunshine:

1.PLUG IN YOUR HEADPHONES

DO NOT LISTEN WITHOUT HEADPHONES!!!!

2.PRESS PLAY

3.CLOSE YOUR EYES

ENJOY A VIRTUAL HAIRCUT.

DO IT NOW.

THIS IS LITERALLY LIFE CHANGING

Woah, I actually got chills when he whispered 

OMG I’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS FOR MONTHS. FINALLY REAPPEARD ON MY DASHHH

I thought this would be like “Oh cool yeah that sounded like a haircut”

NO NO NO NO NO NO

YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND

YOU DON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND

The back of my head is tingling.

OMG EVERYONE GO GET UR HEADPHONES AND LISTEN TO THIS. IT’S ACTUALLY SO COOL. BUT U NEED HEADPHONES FOR IT TO WORK

(via thewingho)

pussyeatingchampion:

told you not to come round here set trippin and shit

(via in-vagina-we-thrust)

foodchewer:

it’s beautiful outside (because i’m outside)

(via in-vagina-we-thrust)

deathpup:

shrexything:

babyferaligator:

oomshi:

is masturbating while smoking weed called masturblazing 

no its called highjacking

guys no it’s weedwhacking

no its called dissapointing ur mother

(via in-vagina-we-thrust)

Nooooo

(via kegelgod)

joelle-elizabeth:

ulyssee:

cigs4kids:

what if grass licked your feet when you stepped on it

i would do a split

Oh my GOD

(via xwrathofgod)

lordoftheinternet:

some thoughts are so private that you only share them with a therapist or 17,000 people on the internet

(via thewingho)

yutoube:

i need a hug right now also five hundred thousand dollars in cash

(via i-am-unknownnn)

The best project you’ll ever work on is you.

Sonny Franco (via psych-facts)

(via i-am-unknownnn)

kimpissible:

In english, we say “shut the fuck up” but in spanish they say “cierra la boca puta” which translates to shut your bitch mouth and i think thats beautiful

(via thewingho)

tuileries:

i want to save my money

but i also want to spend it

image

(via i-am-unknownnn)

mesovideo:

My bedspread just arrived.

(via kegelgod)